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’tis the season lil bees! happy week of thanks to those who celebrate. I hope you are surrounded by utmost love. If not, I’m sending so much love, air hugs, and loose sweatpants your way.

Table of Contents

• what’s been up in sneh’s world

• money stresses people out

• money scripts, aka your money story

• sneh’s money script

• closing thoughts

what’s been up in sneh’s world

• Thank you: I just want to say how deeply thankful I am to you lil bees, for everything. Your readership. Your support. Your coming-along-with-me-for-the-journey-as-I-figure-it-out. It’s been a hell of a ride starting between the buzz, and I’m so grateful to you all for being my first followers 💛 I have so many ideas that I want to conceptualize into this world, and I’m just getting started 🚀 

• One official newsletter left for the year (excluding this one): Someone please tell me how there are only 35 days left this year. Anywhomst, I’m interviewing a very special guest for between the buzz to end the year. EEEP! I may do some informal musings to wrap up the year, but sneh is ready to focus on between the buzz, new launches & beyond just this newsletter. I’m filming some fun bts content on my personal tiktok, follow along!

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We are entering the holiday season aka the most prominent months for buying & gift-giving months in America. I thought it’d be timely to take a moment of pause, before we even get the chance to blindly swipe our credit cards and feel instantly gratified by endless consumerism. Especially amplified by digital marketplaces and “stellar” sales.

With that, let’s dive into money scripts.

One of you lil bees actually recommended I listen to Hidden Brain’s Rewrite Your Money Story podcast. Here were my learnings…

money stresses people out

In March 2024, Bankrate surveyed U.S. adults to see how money affects them.

• Roughly 65 percent of all U.S. adults who say money negatively impacts their mental health said it was caused by economic factors.

• The top cited money-related issue negatively impacting mental health is difficulty paying for everyday expenses, with 59 percent of respondents saying it had a major impact on their mental health.

• Women are more likely to experience financial stress than men — 51 percent of women said money has a negative effect on their mental health, compared to 42 percent of men.

TL;DR: money worries are one of the biggest sources of anxiety in our lives. Psychologist Brad Klontz believes our money worries are shaped by more than the big fat number at the top of our Mint account — they’re driven by our unconscious beliefs, aka our “money scripts.”

money scripts, aka your money story

Money scripts are ingrained beliefs that stem from familial and cultural backgrounds. The stories we have experienced and tell ourselves impact how we perceive and interact with money. Psychologist Klontz identifies four following beliefs: money status, money worship, money vigilance, and money avoidance.

• Money status: my worth is my net worth

• Money worship: “mo’ money, less problems”

• Money vigilance: work for that money, and don’t be frivolous

• Money avoidance: money is bad, the wealthy are greedy and corrupt

Before we dive into each, I don’t find these beliefs to be all encompassing, because I’ve met folks who understand the importance of money but are not scared of it entering or leaving their lives. That being said, there’s a lot of merit to these scripts summarizing the general sentiments folks have around money. Frankly, I think many of us have lived at least one of these scripts. I know I have.

Here’s a quick reference table:

identify, accept, reframe, and act

There is no denying that our family impacts how we view money. I’ve mentioned before that I informally interviewed folks last year to understand their relationships with money. Most of them said their upbringings had a huge impact, whether it be family, friends, school. Even Klontz mentions that his grandfather’s skepticism of banks, rooted in the Great Depression, has had lasting impacts on his family’s view of money. For me, that was the 2008 financial crisis.

All extremely valid. But I saw this quote recently that really helped me develop a framework for not just living in the past.

Our mindset of the present and future dictate our relationship with money. Let me explain.

First, identify your current relationship with money. This is a space where there is NO financial shame for your money script. We can’t control the circumstances we’ve been given, and we cannot change the past. Acknowledge that. 

Next, accept it. There is no point in lying to yourself if you’re tired or upset or anxious. It’s like someone telling you to stop crying when you’re crying. If I wanted to stop crying, you think I’d be bawling my eyes out 🤪 

Take accountability. I hope people take pause and read these next few sentences carefully. I find that folks have gotten a lot better at identifying these pasts, through their “inner child” narrative. A big fan of going to the root of the problem and understanding why we act a certain way in our adult lives. There are certain traumas that if we don’t understand them, will continue to haunt us for the rest of our lives. However, people get stuck here, in moving to the next step. Life deals each of a unique hand of cards. Understand your circumstances, but take accountability for your present and future.

Let me explain by drawing a parallel to education. I read Arne Duncan’s How Schools Work, where he worked to upend the Chicago public school system. How? He implements stricter accountability measures. Your first thought may be, giving students responsibilities may be overwhelming or will not be effective. But he invalidates this hypothesis. Students actually improved their performance by being held accountable, by volunteering, by staying in after school programs. It gives folks a sense of hope, that they matter. Accountability is scary, but baby steps.

Last but not least, act. How can you improve your relationship with money? Talk to people you trust. Be vulnerable. Go to financial therapy if you can afford it. Prioritize understanding your relationship with money, not to become the wealthiest person in the world. True wealth is not measured in dollars and cents, but in peace of mind and financial security.

I want to put equal weight in saying how important all three of these steps are. It’s easier said than done, but I will always say that shame dies in the presence of vulnerability and accountability. Only then does your story become your superpower.

sneh’s money script

I have identified with both money avoidance and vigilance at different stages of life. I am someone who can still feel scarcity mindset, the 2008 financial crisis didn’t help with that. I’ve went through all the extremes of thinking, money is extremely bad because it makes people greedy and corrupt, money allows you to help yourself and others, to now: money can’t buy happiness but neither can poverty. 

I’ve stopped viewing money as so black and white. Now, I see what money can be, what it can provide, but how it’s not everything. For early subscribers, you’ll probably remember the image below from “how my dad convinced me money isn’t bad”:

Quite frankly, I’m continuously reframing and learning my own relationship with money. It takes work, accountability, and action. I have had so many honest conversations with loved ones. I’ve had to rethink my relationship with femininity. Heck, I’ve founded an entire company because I am building for my 10 year old self who understood the emotions behind money at such a young age. Excuse my corniness, but I’m on this ride with y’all too.

Really, all I know today is that I want to get honest around the scary topic of money. Whether it’s through humor, tears, or both, I want to yell into the ether that “money is scary and that is ok!” Money is as, if not more, polarizing as religion and politics, so if conversations get heated or emotional or we make certain decisions that don’t make sense, that is natural. All I ask is that we can get comfortable talking about it. Our mistakes, our mishaps, our stories. I’m here on a mission to figure out how we’ll get there together 💛 

closing thoughts

• 💭 what does your money script look like? have you experienced multiple money scripts throughout your life?

For my newsletter subscribers, reply to this email to let me know what you think. Otherwise, send a personal response to [email protected], or add a comment 👇️ 

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until the next 🐝 , and with 💛 ,

Sneha